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The Reel Cowboys of Hollywood

In Memory of the Founder of the Reel Cowboys, Jack 'J.C.' Iversen
In Memory
of the Founder

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Vol. 2 - No.8 August, 2020 Nooseletter Home SUBMIT AN ARTICLE
 
Jacks or Better Fences
I got home from work and there the guys sat
Just eatin' a pizza and chewin' the fat
They were quite unaware of the fracas out back
Caused, it turns out, by my neighbor's old jack

Now, I don't really know 'em, they live to the north
But we wave on the road as we go back and forth
They're passable neighbors in most other senses
Except for this jack and their not so hot fences

The jack is a pet, or that's what I guess
Since I've never seen anyone work him much less
Ride him or drive him or Saints please preserve us!
Perish the thought they would stand him for service!

'Cause his pedigree's vague, his past convaluted
His gene pool, suffice it to say, is polluted.
He's not very big and his rough coat is thin
In front he toes out and in back he hocks in.

He's pig-eyed and roof rumped and ewe necked to boot
Why this jack is just too hard to look at to shoot!
So, it figures, he would find my place quick as any
Especially what with my three right nice jennys.

Yep, he had homed in and was doin his best
He'd been chasin' 'em round til they worked up a sweat
At last they'd retreated, holed up in a bunch
As scared and uptight as a gambler's hunch

But the jack was undaunted, the amorous brute
Had forsaken the jennys and turned his pursuit
This misguided missle of jackass affection
Now romanced my gelding and from all directions

I hollered and harrassed and bribed him with grain
Til I got him penned up but he never refrained
From lamenting his plight by wheezes and roars
In a voice reminiscent of nails on chalkboards

His protest persisted throughout the long night
Far into the morning and on past first light
Since I never slept I was already up
So I brewed some strong coffee and poured a big cup

Then I got in the truck and went down to the neighbors
To ask if they'd possibly do me the favor
Of fixin' their fences to keep in their jack.
The door never opened so I come on back

I know they were home cause their trucks were all there
But they just wouldn't answer, why -- didn't they care
That their wandering Romeo bred all my jennys?
If they felt remorse they have yet to show any!

The best I can hope is that timing was wrong
When Old knucklehead answered his own siren song.
Here's hoping next Spring won't bring long eared reminders
That if neighbors were keepers I wouldn't be finders!

by Unknown Author of SilentSwords.com
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