• Always drink upstream from the herd.
  
  
• An onion can make people cry; but, there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.
  
  
• Any cowboy can carry a tune. The trouble comes when he tries to unload it.
  
  
• Always take a good look at what you're about to eat. It's not so important to know what it is, but it's critical to know what it was.
  
  
• Don't worry about bitin' off more'n you can chew; your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger'n you think.
  
  
• Generally, you ain't learnin' nothing when your mouth's a-jawin'.
  
  
• If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there with ya.
  
  
• I took to the life of a cowboy like a horse takes to oats.
  
  
• If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging.
  
  
• It's better to keep your mouth shut and look stupid than open it and prove it.
  
  
• If it doesn't seem to be worth the effort it probably isn't.
  
  
• Just 'cause trouble comes visiting doesn't mean you have to offer it a place to sit down.
  
  
• Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back.
  
  
• Nature gave us all something to fall back on, and sooner or later we all land flat on it.
  
  
• The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back into your pocket.
  
  
• The only good reason to ride a bull is to meet a nurse.
  
  
• Treat a woman like a racehorse, and she'll never be a nag.
  
  
• There' are two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works.
  
  
• When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don't be surprised if they learn their lesson.
  
  
• When you're throwin' your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else.
  
  
• We all got pieces of crazy in us, some bigger pieces than others.
  
  
• When you're throwin' your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else.
  

• Don't squat with your spurs on.
  
  
• Don't let your yearnings get ahead of your earnings.
  
  
• Don't dig for water under the outhouse.
  
  
• Don't go in if you don't know the way out.
  
  
• Don't mess with something that ain't bothering you.
  
  
• Never drive black cattle in the dark.
  
  
• Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.
  
  
• Never miss a good chance to shut up.
  
  
• Never ask how stupid someone is 'cause they'll turn around and show you.
  
  
• Never ask a barber if you need a haircut.
  
  
• Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.
  

What would a cowboy, or cowgirl, for that matter, be without his or her horse? Is it even possible to be a cowboy without a horse? Here are some funny sayings about horses.

• If you get thrown from a horse, you have to get up and get back on, unless you landed on a cactus; then you have to roll around and scream in pain.
  
  
• A cowboy is a man with guts and a horse.
  
  
• If you climb in the saddle, be ready for the ride.
  
  
• The horse stopped with a jerk-- and the jerk fell off!
  
  
• When in doubt, let your horse do the thinkin'.
  
  
• Speak your mind, but ride a fast horse.